i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
