Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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