if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
