I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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