I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
