My sheets look like a crime scene.
Where is the hickey?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
