I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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