You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
