You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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