Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
