And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
