Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
