the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
