one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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