Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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