Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
