I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
