drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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