You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
