is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
