oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
