some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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