The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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