who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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