nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
