Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
pop tarts are not kleenex
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
