I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
