u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
