Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
