He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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