I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
