so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
How's work?
Spinning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
