Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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