My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
