Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Randomize
