well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
