I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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