worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
