I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
