My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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