I looked at my own cervix.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
