Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
