we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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