he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
