Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
