my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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