It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Found your dick twin last night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
