is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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