In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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