i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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