just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
